Morning as a 14-month-old twin

A few posts ago (Schedules) I wrote about my day as a mother.  This morning I’ve been wondering what my twins’ day is like.

Wake up a little confused — how is it you were just running on a sidewalk and now you’re in your crib?  No matter — there’s your partner in crime just a few feet away, also waking up.  Start making what Mom calls “happy baby sounds.”  Then — just for fun — start screaming in a super-high happy squealy way until Dad staggers in.  Grab the top of the crib rail and bounce up and down with joy.  Surrender pacifier willingly.  Submit to a diaper change reluctantly.  Suck down eight ounces of bottle and feel a vague reminisce of what it was like to be a little little baby.  Point to toes on request.

Into the Kingdom!  Spend a long trance-like session stacking rings.  Run back and forth laughing.  Knock over anything that’s stacked.  Crash into beanbag chair.  Laugh.  Crash into fellow twin.  Cry.  Drag toy frog around.  Look under crib for missing ball.  Chew on stuffed bear.  Chew on block.  Chew on ring-stacking spindle.

Someone’s at the door.  It’s Dad, it’s Dad!  Race over and lift your arms to be picked up.  If you’re first, cuddle gleefully.  If you’re left on the floor, look up balefully.  Get carried into the Forbidden Bedroom.  Scan all un-childproofed objects and zero in on the scissors at the edge of the desk.  But you’re foiled.  You’re being placed on the enormous bed.  It’s Mom, it’s Mom!  Tackle her with joy.  Bounce up and down on pillows.  Pillage the bed until suddenly you’re airlifted out and back on the changing table.  Arg!  But wait — that feels better.  Now you’re in the crib.  Now your partner’s in the other crib.  Now it’s getting dim and Dad’s reading that story about the sleepy mouse and there’s a pacifier to gnaw on.  Mmm.  Act sleepy until he leaves.  Then start another chorus of squealing.  But that gets boring and it feels good to lounge with your pacifier and little peelable banana …

You’ve been somewhere else but you’re not sure where.  Now you’re in your crib.  Your partner is sitting up and looking at you.  Squeal with delight!  Hold on to the crib rail and jump up and down.  Wait — is the door opening?  It is!  It’s Mom, it’s Mom!  Watch jealously while your partner is lifted.  Lean over the rail like a little delinquent while your partner is changed.  Lift up your arms to get changed yourself.  Cling to Mom like a burr.  Get carried towards the kitchen.  Wait — who’s that?  It’s you, it’s you!  How can that be?  There’s another you and another Mom!   You’re in a big shiny rectangle.  Point and reach and say, “Ah-hhuuh…”  Wave back when your other mother waves.  Squirm with happiness.

Here’s the high chair.  Your feet are going in — wait — you’re not sure about this — twist, wail — oh, but look — there’s Cheerios!  Grab one.  Inspect it carefully.  Crunch crunch crunch.  What’s this squishy red blob?  Do I want to eat it?  Poke at it some more.  Put it tentatively in your mouth.  Oh — it’s sweet, it’s tart.  What’s Mom saying?  Strawberry?  Whatever.  Bounce in your seat going “uhMMM uhMMM” until she gives you more.  Yeah.  More more more.  Ooo — spoons!  You get two of them and you keep the cool-tone one (green is your favorite) and give your partner the other (your partner doesn’t care about spoon colors).  Chew on spoon while Mom says, “Can I have the spoon please?  Can I have the spoon please?”  Twist away and hold the spoon over your head.  Laugh maliciously.  Finally give in after about seven requests.

Green stuff.  Orange stuff.  Num num num.  Take a break every now and then to stuff your bib in your mouth.  Mom says, “Bib out, food in!”  Make her wait.  Make her ask again.  Then, slowly, and with sly eyes, open your mouth so the bib falls out.  Take a spoonful of food.  Repeat for the next twenty bites.  Get your partner to play too.

Sippy cups!  This used to be puzzling, but now you’re an ace.  Gulp gulp gulp.  Bang cup on table.  Squash remaining strawberry.  Crush remaining Cheerio.  Drip milk on tray and spread it around with your hands.  Watch milk drip on seat cushion, your pants, the floor.  Protest when Mom takes the cup away.  Fight the washcloth for face cleaning.  But here comes the little yellow pitcher.  You like this.  Mom says, “Finger bowl!” and guides your hand in.  You grab at the water but can’t hold onto it.  You splash and laugh.  Splash splash splash.  Now it’s the other hand.  Now it’s the towel.  “Hands please!” Mom asks.  You grab the towel and laugh.  You pull the towel over your head.  You reach up your arms to be lifted.

Now you’re back in the Kingdom.  You run back and forth, checking the perimeter.  Yup — same as before.  What are those sounds coming from on top of the dresser?  Music!  Bounce up and down.  Shake your hips.  Bob your head.  Grab a toy car.  Chew on a wheel.  Grab a giraffe shaped rattle.  Chew on its head.  Grab some small blocks and put them in a box.  Take them out.  Put them in.  Take off the lid of the box and chew on that.

Are you getting bored?  You might be getting bored.  Start to keen a little.  But look!  It’s Mom, it’s Mom!  Run to Mom and throw yourself against her stomach.  Pin her to the floor and point to things on her face while she says, “Nose.  That’s my nose.  Cheek.  That’s my cheek.  Eye — careful — soft hands, please — that’s my eye.  Ow — those are my eyelashes.  Eye.  That’s my — ow!  OK.  That’s enough.”  Run away.  Run back with a ball.  Chase the ball.  Run back with a block.  Watch her stack blocks.  Try to stack blocks.  Run away.  Crash into the beanbag.  Will she chase you?  She will!  Burrow into the beanbag with mock fear.  Squeal.  Run into the tent.  Your partner runs into the tent.  Throw yourselves around on the pillows in the tent.  Pause to inspect the big white tag on the inside of the tent.  Enter a trance-like state, fingering the big white tag on the inside of the tent …

And it’s only noon!  You still have a walk and lunch and a nap and another walk and dinner and a bottle and bed!

But those are stories for another time …

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